Time After Time
by damoon
Summary: Arthur gets hurt by a time traveling beast and begins to feel its effects


**This was written for LJ – working with prompts of "Five times Arthur and Gwen didn't kiss" and with a bit of "The Time Traveler's Wife" mixed in. Hope it's alright. I still have much to learn with British terminology. If some of it is wrong, forgive me.**

**#1) A close kiss of good night**

So it came to be that after facing a harrowing beast and acquiring a scar on the right side of his cheek and several cuts all over his body, that Arthur for the first time in years had gotten ill. The news of the King's illness had spread throughout the kingdom but the people were not worried. The King after all, was a strong man and if he was able to battle with such a creature well, to fall ill was only a right consequence. The thing was, to the watchful eyes of both the Queen and his Advisor; the source of the King's illness was something they could not figure out at first.

They searched through books, searched for the right spells , asked for advice amongst the most experienced physicians besides the aging Gaius but finding the solution to the cure was to no avail. It must have been the magical beast but the beast had quickly vanished as soon as Arthur had run his sword near its wing. It was almost like the beast had never existed at all. For it vanished out of thin air.

And this too was happening to Arthur, happening at the most inopportune time, worrying his wife and the people closest to him.

"I worry all the time you won't come back," Guinevere had told him.

"Of course I'll come back. I'll always come back to you..." He tried to make light of his situation even though he knew this enchantment... this illness he acquired was making everyone anxious.

He leaned down to kiss her before they retired for the night, before she worried too much and therefore lost sleep over him, but before he was able to, he vanished, leaving Gwen to only catch pieces of his clothing.

And Arthur, as soon as he opened his eyes was in a place he knew well. He always knew it well for it was always Camelot but it was always a different Camelot each time. Time was a guessing game. He would only know once he saw Guinevere.

**#2) A childhood connection**

The first time it happened, a kind man with dark hair and eyes had found him covered in leaves by the river. He was only able to say his name until his eyes begged to be closed and nothing more was said. He did not know how long he had been sleeping but he had awoken with a massive headache. He was lying on a bed inside a small house. The wounds he acquired from the beast still stung and from underneath the warm blanket he found himself under, he was no longer wearing his kingly attire made of silk and leather but instead was given an old grey tunic made of itchy wool and trousers to wear.

He was confused at first; there was no reason for him not to be. When he turned his head to the right, a small girl with short dark curls was tending to the fire in the fireplace. Everything around him looked strangely familiar. It was certainly a comfortable house. There were dried wild flowers hanging by the windows and fresh ones on the table and on the side of the fireplace stood swords of various stages of completion.

Before he could think it through, he mustered out Guinevere's name and though it came out as a soft whisper it was enough to startle the little girl who looked at him with surprise and relief.

"You're awake," she said, holding her hand to her heart and walking up to him. "Daddy said you'd be awake soon. He wanted to stay here to check on you but he had a sword to deliver. You've been sleeping for a long time. "

"Have I?" He managed to croak out.

She nodded quickly. "I was afraid you'd sleep on my bed forever. And... and... you were sn..." She opened her tiny mouth once more but shook her head instead and didn't continue.

A small nostalgic grin appeared on Arthur's face. "You were going to say I was snoring."

She looked embarrassed. "How did you know that?"

Though Merlin had explained to him somewhat in some kind of nonsensical way what his illness might do, he still had a sinking feeling that he'd never see Guinevere again... but then... the little girl in front of him... she was... he was looking at... wasn't he? "Someone told me a long time ago I did," he said, giving her a melancholy smile.

She nodded. "I'm glad you're awake."

"So you no longer have to hear me snore?"

She shook her head. "No, because now I know you're all right. We were so worried about you."

"So you took care of me then..." Arthur said.

"I just helped," she shrugged, "I'm only five. I can't take care of you all by myself."

"Well, even so, thank you for caring for me."

He can tell she was analysing him behind those dark eyes of hers wondering maybe if he was nice and sincere or someone who was just saying things and didn't really mean them. There was sadness behind her eyes though. Arthur knew his wife well enough to know that, even when his wife appeared to be a five year old girl.

Gwen touched the cut on his cheek tenderly and nodded her head. "May I ask you something?" She said, quietly.

"Ask anything you want," he replied.

"How do you know my name?"

"I must have heard it when I was asleep," he answered, awkwardly.

"It's just that... everyone just calls me Gwen. No one really calls me Guinevere except my mummy but she died when I was small." That was all. Simple and quick. Gwen said nothing more other than to ask if he was still feeling ill and when he shook his head, she continued with her chores.

Arthur wanted to say many things to Gwen. He wanted to say sorry but would a five year old know the meaning of his apology? Would she know what kind of sorry he was sorry for? But he knew that a sorry was not what she would want, for he had not wanted anyone to apologise to him either when he was the same age; despising everyone instead who gave him a sympathetic look whenever his mother was mentioned. They did not know him. They did not know how he felt. Sorry was something he did not want. All he wanted was for someone to say something other than sorry.

"I understand," he said, after a long silence. "My mother died when I was born. When I was little I often wondered what she smelled like or what her voice sounded like. You're very lucky to have known your mother. She must have been beautiful and insightful like you."

"Sometimes I feel very sad. Are you sad sometimes about your mummy even if you don't remember her, Arthur?" She asked him, as she swept the kitchen floor. "I would cry a lot and wish for her to come back but that only made me even sadder and I know mummy would not want me sad. She just wants me to be happy. I'm sure your mummy wanted the same for you."

"I'm sure she did."

"And are you happy?" She asked wistfully.

"I am and especially now that I've met you..."

It was the first time during their conversation he finally saw her smiling face, teeth and all. "I'm happy too..." Gwen set her broom down and took hold of a wooden bucket hanging by the door. "I have to go get water. Will you be all right while I'm away?"

"Of course and I promise I won't snore anymore."

It took plenty of closing and opening the door before she left, having a go with a game of peek-a-boo with him first because she wanted to make him laugh. "Arthur," said Gwen, before she closed the door one last time, "It's all right if you call me Guinevere. I like the way you say it."

As soon as Gwen was on her way to the well, Arthur disappeared. He wished to have said something more to her but he guessed she would understand one day why he was unable to say goodbye.

**#3) A consequence for a cure**

Merlin like usual came to his chambers without bothering to wait for his permission to enter. He at least knocked this time, Arthur had to give him credit for that but knocking while opening his chamber door at the same time did not exactly count as "knocking" per se.

"Merlin!" he shouted. How many times do I have to tell you..."

Merlin came in looking haggard with bags under his eyes. His dark green tunic was sprinkled with indeterminate food stains and so wrinkled it looked like he had been sleeping in them. Arthur swore he also saw some bread crumbs in his hair but he decided it was better not to point that out since he was sure Merlin did not care for his appearance out of late. Especially since his hair had grown longer as his hair had gotten whiter and had not bothered to cut or tame it. Though Arthur remained the same since he acquired his illness a year before, his friend was older and wiser now. Showing up 40 years in the future would do that to you he figured, but Merlin's old habits still remained the same.

"Yes. I know. Knock before I enter. You've been telling me that for ages but this is important." Merlin said hurriedly. "I have figured out the cure."

"The cure..." Arthur repeated. "I thought you said there wasn't one."

"I was wrong." Merlin was still apprehensive. He ran his hands through his messy snowy hair  
and looked at Arthur like it would be the last time he would ever see him. "I have found a spell to manipulate time. It is the only way but there are consequences."

"What do you mean?"

"The only way to cure your enchantment is to kill the beast that tried to kill you. If you do that, everything will be back to normal. Time will go back to before that beast ever set foot in Camelot."

"That's impossible. How can I ever defeat that beast if it is in the same state as I? We can be in different decades, different places..."

"Nothing is impossible," said Merlin. "There are just consequences to make it possible."

"What is this consequence to make it possible then?"

"I can get you to where that beast is but if you are unable to defeat it before it disappears, you will be stuck time travelling forever."

"And if I am able to beat it?"

"Then like I said, it will be back to normal, except that all of your memories you've acquired will disappear."

And so it begins. There were always consequences. His time travelling illness had made him crave for normalcy. Whatever decade or time he appeared in he wished to have stayed just a bit longer. Just a bit longer with Guinevere and everything was at least tolerable. It was his only bliss for the past year. For all those times he had been completely unaware of her existence, he was content to finally have pieces of her in his memories. He felt like he was given another chance.

Except consequences were consequences and whatever he chose to do, will forever seal his fate.

Usually, his stay in a certain time period was a month or so. Sometimes it was just a fortnight; sometimes it was even shorter. He never expected however to appear in the future, yet to his surprise, for more than three months he was back in his own castle with Guinevere as his Queen and Merlin as his advisor only they were significantly older than he.

A few days after the revelation of Merlin's news, Arthur stood beside Gwen by the castle's cloister looking out into the courtyard. Her dark hair had touches of silver and wrinkles had formed around her mouth and the corners of her eyes. To Arthur she was still as beautiful as ever but if he were ever to tell Gwen that, he knew she would never believe it.

Gwen turned to him and placed her hand on his back. "Ever since Merlin told you about the cure for your illness you have looked rather distraught. What is it Arthur? Will you trouble me with your thoughts?"

"I have always regretted the fact that I had not bothered to know you until you caught me out for being an arrogant prat."

Gwen shook her head. "You should not regret that. We had made the better of it because we had grown to understand what love is ."

Arthur took Gwen's hand inside his own. He memorized every curve and every wrinkle and every dimple of her hands. He wondered if she knew that he memorized even those simple things about her. As the years went by the feel of her hands had gotten softer, less rough, given the circumstances of her changing stations. They changed, just as everything around them changed. But he can never forget the first time he had taken her hand, when she was tending his wound and had held it against his heart. It was a gesture he had wanted to do for a long time. He knew she had many doubts. He knew she still did not believe that she was more than just a servant to him. And he hoped at least, he had gotten it right. It was just a simple gesture but he hoped she understood.

"If I defeat this beast Guinevere, all the memories of my travels will be lost. This moment with you will be lost."

"Sometimes it is better to not look back. We have plenty of time to make other memories." Arthur ran his finger down her cheek, ran his hand through strands of her silver curls. "I will miss you in this timeline Arthur, like I always do. No matter what happens I will be waiting for you to come home. I will not lose you." There were other things she wanted to say but she did not say them. Perhaps she knew already that words did not matter, for she knew he understood. He knew her well.

Merlin stood against a pillar, watching them, giving them time to say goodbye. This time he had managed to tie back his snow coloured hair and changed into clean and pristine looking robes. "It is time, Arthur. It's inside Camelot's forest."

Merlin had cast his spell. He eyes lit up into two golden spheres and as always, Arthur vanished like he was never in their presence at all.

**#4) The battle of travellers**

Arthur materialized in the middle of the forest wearing the same chainmail and armour he was wearing before Merlin's spell had brought him to where he was now. He was thankful for Merlin's time manipulation, considering that if he had let his illness do the work, he would have appeared naked in front the beast instead and might as well have considered time travelling for the rest of his life.

Materializing naked somewhere was one of the many foils of the illness and it was something he could never get used to. It was a big problem at first but he was quite surprised how he became such an expert on finding miscellaneous clothing from dwellings near Camelot's borders.

From where he stood he knew the beast, a chimera, was somewhere near. Its movements were loud and quick and it seemed it was surrounding him in every direction. The beast was between trees; its white fur glistened with green blood. It had a gash just below its right wing which suddenly spanned out trying to fly away.

But it was too weak. It took off only to land on its back.

The beast was strong though. Stronger than any creature he had ever encountered. Though it was weakened by the gash on its wing, it still fought him with fierce intensity. The chimera with its white bat shaped wings and cobra head chose to slither around him, trying to kill him with its sharp, leathery blue tongue. It was not going to give up so easily. The beast's tail already slashed through Arthur's leg and had cut through his armour like it was made of flimsy fabric.

It was a very hard battle. He knew time was something he could not waste. Though he was exhausted and bleeding from what felt like every inch of his skin he was not about to let the chimera end his life inside the forests of Camelot. His people were waiting for his return. Guinevere was waiting for him. More than anything in the world, he just wanted to be home.

As soon as the beast had surged to attack him one more time, one last time, Arthur found the only way to stop the chimera's wrath. It had opened itself to him. Its wings, wanting to fly again, had spanned out like a fan. There was no time to think, its heart was left defenceless, and so he ran to pierce it with all the strength he had. Before he could even register it in his mind, the beast with its furry snake like body collapsed on the forest floor. Arthur expected it to disappear, was afraid the creature would get up again to attack but it did not move. Green blood covered the grass and the entire length of his sword. Was it over, he wondered? Was there anything else to be done?

He was so tired. Everything hurt. It hurt to even move. He wondered if he had broken his enchantment. Had he not killed the beast? Why was he not returning to his reality? He wanted to shout out from the pain yet he could not even produce a sound...

But he did not need to shout...

"It's all right. You will be all right..." she said.

**#5) Love is?**

It was early in the morning when she first heard the knock on her door. She thought it was a part of her dream so she let it go but then Merlin's familiar voice accompanied the second knock and then there was another.

"Gwen, I have something to tell you. Gwen, open up."

It was not like Merlin to knock and to beg or to sound so desperate. It worried her even before she got herself out of bed to open her door.

"I have not much time to explain this to you properly," Merlin said as soon as he stepped inside her house. "You might think I'm completely mad but you must listen..."

She had many qualms about Merlin's story. How? Why? I don't understand... where some of the words she could have used to ask Merlin what the bloody hell he was on about. In her heart she knew that everything he was saying was the truth no matter how farfetched it was. She just had to sink it all in, even though it was so difficult to do that when Morgana was nowhere to be found and Merlin and Arthur had gone on to their journey to find a dragonlord in order to defeat a dragon set free from its imprisonment inside the castle.

Where does she stand in all this? She was left alone to wait for their return. To wait for news. To wait. To wait. For someone who always found a way to find hope in every situation she could not help but be terrified of being truly alone. She learned to cope without her mother. She learned to live without her father. Can she learn to live without Morgana, Merlin and Arthur, as well? Hope was the only thing she could grasp without thinking about what ifs, without thinking about the inevitable. She can certainly survive, yes. She can certainly pretend it doesn't hurt, that she is not worried, but pretending was not her. Even Gaius had seen it on her face. Was she that transparent? All she wanted was for Arthur and Merlin to come home. All she wanted was for Arthur to be all right.

"Do not leave until the sun sets," Merlin had said. "He needs time."

"How do you know all this?" She asked.

"It's too hard to explain. I don't understand it myself really. I just found a letter I'd written and..."

"A letter? You wrote?" Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

"Yes, but I wrote it much later..."

"Later?"

"Just trust me, Gwen," said Merlin.

She did not know how injured he might be or how he might be like or if he was even there at all. All she knew was that, if he was there, as Merlin said he would be, then she must be there for him.

When she entered the forest a feeling of déjà vu hit her. A faraway memory of when her father had taken her for a walk and had accidentally stepped in a puddle of what looked like green blood. It was a cold day. The wind made her take hold of her father's hand for balance as they both looked for the source of the blood.

"It might be dangerous," her dad said.

But she insisted on finding it. It was hurt and creatures which are hurt are usually not so dangerous, she pointed out to her father. "We must find it, Daddy. Its mummy must be looking for it..."

In the end, they never found the creature that left a puddle of green blood near the river. Instead, it was her father who found him. He was covered with leaves, with wounds all over his body. He had no clothes on so her father had covered him with his cape and took him home. "What is your name, sir?" Her father asked when he helped the man to his feet.

And the man could only muster out, "Arthur" – before he closed his eyes and slept and slept as soon as her father had laid him down on her bed. When he awoke he scared her just a bit. She was not expecting him to wake or to even say her name. How did he know her name was Guinevere? – But he was so friendly and he spoke with a voice which made her listen to him, to easily trust him, especially when he told her about his mother.

His name was Arthur.

Arthur had the beginnings of a scar on his cheek and a large wound near his heart. He had golden hair and eyes like the colour of the sky on a bright clear day. He was very kind. It was his kindness she remembered the most but he left without a goodbye. The clothes her father had given him were strewn on the bed. She often wondered what happened. Why had he gone so quickly?

"Arthur said you will understand one day," said Merlin trying to explain. "I guess this is the time for understanding..."

Trails of green blood lead her to a clearing in the forest where a furry snake like creature lay dead on the ground. When she was five the creature must have disappeared now it was in front of her very eyes and just like when she was five... Arthur was lying on the ground a few paces away wearing his torn armour.

"It's all right. You will be all right," she said, kneeling down next to him. She touched his face – wiping away blood from a deep cut on his cheek.

It was not so easy to patch up Arthur's wounds. Some cuts were so deep on his skin she knew that in time permanent scars would take its place. He slept for what seemed like forever but Gwen expected this. It happened before. She watched him as he slept, took his hand to comfort him. Her heart hurt thinking about Arthur sometimes. She wondered why it hurt so much. She knew he'd find his real princess one day. She was a realist. She wasn't like other ladies and maidens who dreamed happy ever afters. It should not hurt so much should it? Love was so confusing. Her insecurities were resurfacing.

"Why is it that I usually get myself seriously wounded before you tend to me?" Arthur contemplated when he was able to find his voice.

"Sometimes I think you must be doing it on purpose," she bit her lip and looked away, focusing her attention to dressing his arm instead. She was hardly the person to give out witty remarks to what was probably a rhetorical question but her words had spilled out anyway and she can feel Arthur's eyes on her.

"Maybe I am," he replied weakly, sitting up on her bed. She looked up to see that he had a slight smile on his face which was covered with a less than perfect beard. She wondered if she should have offered to help him shave it off but because of it, Arthur looked rather refined and mature. It made him look even more handsome, she had to admit, although she never much cared for such things most women deemed important.

She herself had never much noticed Arthur for a long time. He was the Prince, he was good looking but he was also arrogant and selfish and bullied others whom he saw as weak. Who on earth could ever love someone like that? Let alone marry them?

But Arthur... Arthur, with all his haughtiness and pratty nature, would in time reveal his true colours. Arthur, unlike her, wore his heart on his sleeve, he was devoted and noble and stood up for everything he thought right. Gwen had grown to care for him, to be concerned for him. When she thought of him, she felt her emotions running every which way. Her heart would hurt or somewhere inside her she found a way to smile with her teeth gleaming. She never much liked the look of her smile. She thought it looked awkward but Arthur made her smile even in her sleep.

"You must be thinking how extremely ridiculous this situation is," Arthur began, grabbing a hold of her hand. "The first time it happened it caused a great deal of concern to everyone, especially my wife..."

Gwen's heart tightened as soon as he said it. "Your wife..." she said, startled. She found that her hand was shaking and that her face felt hot. He was still holding her hand and he still had a slight smile on his lips. When she tried to take her hand away, he tightened his hold.

"Are you surprised?"

"Of course not, my lord," she answered, looking away from his imploring eyes. "It is understandable that your wife should be the most concerned."

"I suppose you're right," he agreed, letting go of her hand.

Gwen turned away from him, trying to hide her hurt with a ghost of a grin. His wife, she thought. He found a real Queen after all. She should have expected it but she needed time to digest it. She excused herself and told him that she was going to the well. "I won't be long," she said. "It seems we've run out of water."

It must have taken all of Arthur's strength Gwen thought, but he managed to close the door before she was able to step outside. His injuries had stung as soon as his feet touched the ground and he cried out from the pain but he had stopped her from leaving. "I'm sorry. I have not meant to upset you, by trying to mislead..."

"I am not upset," interrupted Gwen, reaching for the door.

"Guinevere," Arthur grabbed her elbow to stop her from walking away. "When I told you I've never loved another, I meant it. I never loved and never will love another... "

It was just like Gwen to turn away again. She believed him but her heart still ached with uncertainties. She believed him but there were ladies more beautiful, there were ladies more worthy, she was nothing but a servant, she was no one. She did not matter.

"But you have doubts don't you? You put your feelings on hold so you do not believe sometimes do you?" Arthur placed his hand on her cheek. "You do not believe you are beautiful, you don't believe that you are worth much more to me than anyone." She closed her eyes, listening to his every word, all of her insecurities said out loud to her. "Tell me you believe me when I say you are beautiful; tell me you believe me when I say you are indispensible to me. Tell me."

"Arthur..."

"Tell me, Guinevere." Gwen looked up at him. His eyes were clear and honest, there was nothing to doubt really, but she could not quite get her voice out. "Tell me you believe me."

Gwen leaned her head on his shoulder. He smelled of fire and medicine and soap. Everything he said was the truth. She was reserved and she hid her feelings and she was afraid of getting hurt. But with love comes hurt as well, doesn't it?

"I believe you, Arthur," she said.

It only took a few seconds for Arthur to disappear. She wasn't expecting it so quickly and before she knew it, his bandages had fallen on the floor and the only thing she held in her hands were her father's old clothes.

It was one thing to be reserved but it was another thing to hold back feelings she knew she needed to express. Gaius told her to never underestimate the power of love and she understood that more now than ever.

Especially when, as nightfall came to take over Camelot, and news of the fallen knights had reached the kingdom... she finally let out a sigh of relief when she caught a glimpse of Arthur heading towards the castle and without any doubts or hesitation, she ran to him. She was not going to hold back anymore.


End file.
